Saddle Up Your Own White Horse
5 Principles Every Woman Needs to Know

by Saundra Pelletier

Choose some of the following questions to jump-start your group's discussion about Saundra Pelletier's refreshing look at how women can create the life they want without expecting or relying on a man to do it for them.

1. The book's five principles address the five core aspects of every woman's life: her attitude toward herself, her understanding of women's innate characteristics and skills, her relationships with men, her relationships with other women, and her relationship with success, power, and prosperity. Which of the five principles do you think is the most important for women to keep in mind? Which is the biggest challenge for you personally?
2. Saundra discusses three types of women: victims, flatliners, and deliberate creators. Think of women in the news right now or someone you know. Can you find examples of each of these types?
3. Why is it so difficult for women to put themselves first without feeling guilty about it? In other words, why is it so hard for women to say no?
4. Modern fairy tales, romance novels, and hit movies retell the old story of how Prince Charming rides up on his white horse to rescue the princess and they live happily ever after. Why do you think this story has such a hold on women's imaginations?
5. Saundra says that "no woman is an island" and stresses the need for women to support each other. But many women, especially in the corporate world, seem more likely to go for each other's throats. Why are women so often disloyal to other women?
6. Do you have a cavalry of women who support you when you need help? Are you part of another woman's cavalry?
7. Both men and women seem to spend a lot of time arguing about how women should live their lives: Should mothers work or stay home? Can women balance work and family? Are women really worse than men at science and math? Why do you think our society is so worked up over these issues?
8. How much do you think stories and images in the media influence women's ideas about themselves?
9. Why is "feminism" almost a dirty word for many women today?
10. Are younger women (Gen X or Gen Y) more willing to put themselves first than their mothers and grandmothers were?
11. What do you think Saundra means when she says, "Never confuse motion with action"?
12. How can putting yourself first be the least selfish thing you can do for others?
13. 1Do you agree that women look at professional success differently than men do? If so, why do you think that is?
14. Why is sex such a problem for many married women--and their husbands?
15. The "fiery tango" or the "enchanting waltz"--what's your approach to menopause?